It seems so rare today to grow up in a family with a seemingly healthy marriage. Thankfully my husband and I have both been so lucky. That’s not to say our parent’s marriages are perfect but they are both God-centered. And if there is one thing I have learned from watching our parents is that you have to trust your spouse to God. Believe in Him because He can work wonderful things in and through your marriage.
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Trust is fundamental to any relationship. If you are in a relationship, here is why you should trust more in God, your spouse, and your marriage.
God’s Purpose for Marriage
Before we start diving into why you should trust your spouse to God, I want to give insight into God’s purpose for marriage. Jesus gives us a glimpse of the magnificent marriage that God willed for His people. The greatness and glory of marriage is beyond our comprehension without divine revelation. The world cannot know what marriage is without learning about it from God.
From the beginning (Genesis 1:27-28) we see that marriage between a man and a woman is God-designed. Marriage is also God’s doing because He spoke it into existence (Genesis 2:24). It is His ordained plan to give insight into His love for His people. God himself performs the union between man and woman, which is the heart of marriage. God joins husband and wife into a one-flesh union (Genesis 2:21). Living in this kind of union requires both husband and wife to understand and embrace the biblical means of resolving conflict and demonstrating Christ-like love (Ephesians 5:25-30).
Marriage is a sacred covenant rooted in commitments that promise to stand against every storm. This covenant is revealed through Christ’s commitment to His redeemed people, the church. Ultimately, God’s purpose for marriage is to display His glory (Ephesians 5:31-32). Keeping our covenant with our spouse is the display of God’s covenant with us in Christ.
Importance Of Trust In Marriage
Trust is the most important thing in marriage. Beyond anything, trust is the very thing that can make or break a marriage or any relationship for that matter. It’s the key to our marriage, and without it, life becomes seemingly intolerable.
When you don’t have trust all you have is fear and that is an exhausting way to live. I love being in control and knowing the future, but with marriage that is impossible. Acting out of fear of not being in control actually hurts your marriage more than you help it.
I have had a few broken relationships, some with cheating involved, so trust takes a lot to earn. Unfortunately, my husband has gotten the brunt end of those issues. It’s been something I have carried around not realizing until I got married.
Ever since those broken relationships, I became really good at withholding trust to the point where I would isolate myself in fear of getting hurt. Your past might tell you it’s not safe. Those acts of self-protection are only temporary. The act of distrust often leads straight to disrespect. Using our words as weapons only serve to separate us from one another.
If you feel like there is no way to get to a place of trust on your own, speak with a pastor or a Christian counselor. I did it to address relationships that I thought I forgave and forgot but that I was still playing out in passive-aggressive ways in my marriage. Therapy was so helpful to learn the importance of trust in a marriage.
Bible Verses About Trusting Your Spouse
The devil will always pour salt on those old wounds, The devil tells us how unfair it is that we have to be obedient and loving towards our spouse when it feels like they are not reciprocating. Don’t listen to those lies! God has a better way.
With God’s help, we can find guidance and peace in our marriages. But you must be willing to do the hard work of getting to the root of your trust issues and realizing what God says about them. Here are a few bible verses about trusting your spouse:
1 John 4:18: There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.
1 Peter 5:7: Casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you.
Proverbs 31:11: The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good.
Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.
1 Peter 4:8: Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.
Ephesians 5:22-24: Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
How To Trust God With Your Marriage
God did not promise us that love would be easy but He did promise that He would be there with us. There are going to be sucky times in your marriage. People who beg to differ are in for a rude awakening. True love takes sacrifice and we must choose to love our spouses every day.
As we grow through marriage, we learn our spouses have flaws just like we do. One of the most beautiful things about marriage is trusting your spouse – trusting he will be true to you emotionally and physically as well as that he is who he says he is. Give your spouse a chance to earn your trust so that you can be secure in each other’s love.
I have found that using this Goal Guide Bundle has made it super helpful to get on the same page with your spouse about your goals and hold each other accountable.
Let Go and Trust God
When my husband does an out of the ordinary nice gesture, my first thought is to jump to the conclusion that he must have done something hurtful and is trying to make up for it. If you don’t trust your spouse and are always suspicious of his actions, you are actually hindering him from growing into the man God has destined him to be. According to Corinthians 13, love must assume no wrongs.
** No, I don’t believe that abuse necessarily plays into love assuming the best. My heart breaks for you. It is not okay to be treated that way. If that is the case, I know that it is not your choice to stay and your trust is at its end (mine would be too), but know that Jesus is with you and He will lead you out of it when you trust in Him. I am praying for you to get into a safe situation. I am also praying for your husband’s heart. Remember, God is righteous.
Unless your spouse has proven otherwise, believe that when your spouse goes out into the world, you are on their mind and heart. Let go of your doubts and trust God! When your trust is rooted in God, your marriage will flourish.
Security in God
We must seek Christ above all. Not the approval of our husbands or the approval of the world. We must believe in the truths of the Bible, trusting in Him and not our own emotions. Just as you trust in the Lord with all your heart, place trust in God that He is working in and through your husband.
No matter what we must rely on our security in God. Only He can meet the deepest needs of our lives and can satisfy our hearts.
No doubt, I am still a work in progress. When you find yourself in the midst of negative thoughts about your spouse, turn to God and seek His wisdom. Put 100% of your trust in God and lay your marriage before Him.
Let’s become praying wives who come down on our knees to ask God to help us trust our spouses. Pray with me:
Dear Lord, I give my spouse and my marriage over to you. I trust that You are good, loving and righteous. I trust that you are at work in my marriage. Lord show me how to speak the truth in love into my spouse’s life, teach me how to submit to him in marriage as you have designed, and help me to give grace when my husband fails. In Jesus’ name, Amen.