Sometimes loving our husbands can be difficult. We can easily slip into focusing on all the things they aren’t doing rather than helping to reveal God’s grace in their lives. Many times we expect a fairytale perfection from our spouses and we forget to love them for who God made them to be. To know how to love our husbands well, we must know God’s love and be able to live that out.
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Can you delight in your husband and rejoice over him simply because of who he is and who God is working on him to be?
How To Love Your Husband Unconditionally
God calls us to express unconditional love in our relationships, and it will not happen without effort and sacrifice. The kind of love that lasts for a lifetime is one that has God at the center, with both individuals focusing on being more like Him and shedding their own selfishness. Love is a daily choice to think about someone else over our own desires. God doesn’t love us because of what we do or don’t do, He loves us because of who we are and who we are in Christ. We have to choose to unconditionally love our husbands the same way that God chooses to love us, seeing them not just as they currently are, but for who God is making them into.
Example of Unconditional Love
First and foremost, the way to love our husbands is to put Jesus first. I cannot love my husband if I don’t understand Jesus’ perfect example of unconditional love – an attitude of self-sacrifice and servanthood. It is the kind of unconditional love that we must choose every day to serve our spouses and enrich their lives by doing so.
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14.
With this kind of love, there would be no strife, no bitterness, and no pent-up anger. There would be two people who find joy in serving each other – the perfect picture of how God unconditionally loves us.
How To Show Love To Your Husband
In the midst of our marriages, we can often become nit-picky and critical about where our spouses need to be better or improve, so much so that we often miss our own shortcomings. Instead of looking for all the ways that our husbands may not measure up to our expectations, you should encourage your husband and build him up in love to be who God made them to be. Believe that in Christ there is room for grace and forgiveness.
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3.
It means a lot to our husbands when we become their biggest cheerleaders and learn to better cherish and respect them above anything else. This can look like encouraging your husband and building him up spiritually through prayer, emotionally through words of affirmation or physically to help keep the fire going. Let us be women who build up and show love to our husbands.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12.
As wives, we are simply called to love our husbands out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Jesus is the example you should look to on how to show love to your husband. He has determined to love us unconditionally, not just depending on when He feels like loving us, and we must choose to show love to our husbands in the same way.
As a God-centered marriage, you guessed it… our focus should always be on God. One of the ways to do that is to read the Bible or a devotional together. The Bible is a love letter from your heavenly Father, full of precious truths about the beauty and sanctity of marriage. The Bible says God is love, which makes it the perfect roadmap to loving your spouse unconditionally, especially when that is the last thing you feel like doing.
By being in the Word, you will be able to combat any negative emotions that may come up in your marriage because it reassures you that God is right there in the center. Ultimately, you will experience greater joy and peace as you learn more about the joy and peace that comes from a God-centered marriage.
Power of Praying Together
Praying together is the strongest ministry in your marriage and any relationship for that matter. Prayer should be your first response in any situation because it invites Jesus into things we cannot change on our own. You will see the power of praying together because you will no longer be focusing on the problem but the one who can solve it and grow us through it.
As you pray together, you will learn to have compassion and humility towards one another. Your prayers are a reminder of the access that we have to a faithful God who has the power for redemptive change. His unconditional love has the ability to restore even the most hopeless of relationships.
Put Your Spouse First
In the midst of busy schedules and never-ending to-do lists, it can be way too easy to take our marriage for granted. Oftentimes, rather than taking time to continue to grow your marriage you end up going to separate rooms to enjoy “alone time.” You know it’s not a good habit but you are too exhausted to make a change.
Put your spouse first! Marriage is God’s blessing and the proving grounds in which you learn how to love unconditionally. The beginning stages may be awkward, especially if you have been putting your marriage on the back burner for a while, but there is hope if you place your trust (and relationship) in God!
Couples Need Time Together
One of the best ways to love your husband unconditionally is to get to know him fully. Couples need time together! Therefore, I urge you to prioritize date nights with your husband. Most importantly, focus this time on leaving your daily worries behind so you can just enjoy being together. These date nights don’t have to be expensive and they can be done at home.
“Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life, which has been given to you under the sun, all your fleeting days. For that is your portion in life and in your struggle under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 9:9.
I love just cooking together while listening to a record on our record player. Or going rock climbing at our local gym. It’s simple but shows each other that you care about learning more about them. And it helps you know what to pray for as well as how to encourage them along the way.
At the end of the day, I want to be the kind of wife who builds my marriage up and not tears it down. Are you with me? In order to do so, we need to come before God and ask Him to show us how to unconditionally love our husbands.