Ever look in your closet and can’t decide what to wear? You proceed to put on 10 different outfits and storm out the door not feeling satisfied because you don’t look like your best self. And you hate the jeans you decided to wear because they make your legs look fat. Who knew one pair of jeans compared to another can have the magical power to do that.
You don’t feel worthy enough, good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough….the list goes on.
I have mentioned this in a previous post about how I struggle with negative self talk. I am my own worst enemy and am constantly bringing myself down. For one it is a form of protection for me, if I am the one to say these negative things first then no one can hurt me, and two it stems from pride.
The devil loves to feed on the negativity and pride.
“…..and has not stood in truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of liars.” John 8:44.
How is it a pride issue you might ask? Well you are so wrapped up in yourself that God is no longer the center of your life or the foundation in which you find your identity.
In today’s post, I want to talk about how to get out of that negative self-talk spiral and dive into what God says is true about us.
How To Change Your Narrative
Recognize your feelings – the emotions are real but they aren’t always an accurate portrayal of the truth. I say that because for so long I felt that my feelings about how I thought others viewed me were true which made me question how I actually was designed to be. For example, a complete stranger could look in my general direction walking down the street and I would immediately assume that they were judging me for how I looked (or didn’t look).
Then I would make up a story in my head about how I wasn’t good enough in some way. In our current “Instagram perfect” culture, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone is looking at and judging us all the time. But in reality, we are so caught up in our own selves and our own fears that we aren’t even focusing on other people, let alone walking around judging them.
Take note of how often they occur and what you are saying to yourself. Are they positive or glorifying God?
If you are having negative thoughts about yourself, try taking an opposite view point and turn those thoughts in to positive ones. Go one step further and measure them against Jesus’ narrative. This one is hard to do but a great practice in helping you realize your negative self-talk and help you start to believe the positive qualities about yourself.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2.
Focus on God’s View of You
We change by the way we think, specifically by thinking the thoughts that Jesus thought.
“The process of spiritual formation in Christ is one of progressively replacing…destructive images and ideas with the images and ideas that filled the mind of Jesus himself…Spiritual formation in Christ moves toward a total interchange of our ideas and images for his.” -Dallas Willard. (Quote taken from “The Good and Beautiful God” by James Bryan Smith).
Create a list of affirmations (bible verses) from the Bible and view them daily.
Here are some bible verses and quotes to get you started:
God loves us just as we are not as we should be:
“But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8.
You were made in His image:
“I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful and I know this very well.” Psalms 139:14.
You are lovable:
“Because you loved me, you made me able to be loved.” – Augustine
You are worthy:
“For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will.” Ephesians 1:4-5.
You are good enough:
“You are one in in whom Christ dwells. Your glory is not in what you do, but in who you are.” “The Good and Beautiful God,” James Bryan Smith.
You are free from condemnation:
“Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus, because the Spirit’s law of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.” Romans 8:1-2.
Prayer to Change Your Thoughts
Meditate on affirming bible verses while you are getting ready in the morning, when you are driving or you can take a picture of the bible verse and make it the background of your computer and/or your lock screen on your smartphone.
Prayer is so important. It is through Jesus that we get to have this intimate relationship with God.
“Now this is the confidence that we have before Him: Whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14.
Pray God will allow you to believe these truths about who He says you are and begin to understand your identity in Him.
“When the Spirit of Truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” John 16:13.
Change the stories in your mind by reading the bible, and engage in a new dialogue with yourself and with God so that you can recognize the truth from lies. When you start to believe in the truth, you will be set free from negative self-talk and be able to experience a life full of joy, worth and value.